Friday, December 5, 2008

Men Want Love 2

So its 4:23 in the morning and I can’t sleep. Its been a while since I posted, ok so its been an eternity, but I started a new job and its kept me extra busy, just know that I missed ya’ll while I was gone and I’m glad to be inspired once more.

The reason I can’t sleep is because my heart won’t let me. Seriously. I know that might sound straight bananas, but its true, I’m sitting up listening to music and with each song I hear I find meaning, I feel myself searching for something substantial, something tangible, something real. Donnie Hathaway, Carl Thomas’ “I Wish”, Alicia Keys “Diary” … each song moving me similarly and differently at the same time. (If you’ve never tried you really should b/c they create a radio station for you based on what you tell em you like. And they very rarely miss with the songs they suggest for you.)

Ladies, the truth is that the Fellas, myself included worry, wish, wonder, and wait just as you do. Men are truly emotional creatures, some of us know how to express ourselves better than others but we are definitely beings driven by passion and the need to feel appreciated, relevant, and alive.

I was recently asked what I wanted and needed in a woman. I consider myself a man who is very aware of what he wants in life and also a person that is decisive when it comes to the big things, however, this question perplexed me some, or at least I thought so. The truth is the more I thought about what I wanted, the more I realized the answer is that I want “Complex Simplicity”. I want nothing and everything at the same time, I truly just want her to just “BE”.

I know my above description may seem complicated or just downright sound outlandish but allow me to elaborate. I have never found anything more attractive in a woman than the fact that she is Herself, the queen of her own court, a real person. Straight up… I can’t stand commercial chicks from the Baller chasers/boppers, to the I’m So Independent that I gotta let you know how independent I am chick, to the I’m Rebelling but don’t know what the hell my cause is chick.

I love the idea that a woman can “BE” without having to tat it on her ass, forehead, and Afro (respectively, LOL). This is not me judging or indicting a particular type of woman but merely me attempting to convey that we do dream about you, and hope for you, and believe that you are out there for us: A woman that is who she is because that’s who she is, not because that’s what she looks like, or because she’s what someone told her she should be, or because another dude broke her spirit and made her believe that Good Men that want to love you the right way CAN’T EXIST on this Planet.

The common misconception for many men is that women are difficult to figure out, but, I beg to differ. The way I figure out what a woman wants is by thinking about what I would want if placed In the same situation. That’s what I want, that’s what I want my woman to want: Reciprocity (a mutual admiration and respect that allows us to thrive on the ability to both give and receive from each other without feeling like it is an OBLIGATION). A scene from “the break-up” comes to mind where Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Anniston get in an argument about washing the dishes. She tells him that she doesn’t want to have to ask him to wash the dishes because she wants him to want to wash the dishes. He responds “Why in the hell would I ever WANT to WASH the DISHES”. What she was really saying to him was (I just need to know that you have my back, that you are there with me, that you want me happy because it makes you happy, and I want you to know that I don’t WANT to WASH dishes EITHER, showing that you are willing to do something pleases me, and knowing that you expect me to do the hard stuff alone disappoints me). I want someone who wants to wash the dishes… I want someone that makes me want to wash the dishes.

I want the desire to please to come from a sincere place, I want genuine desire, genuine passion. I don’t want a girl that Blurts out “let’s have sex now” (LOL) I want a woman that knows how to get what she wants when she wants it and can convey it to me without even saying a word. I don’t want a Christmas, Birthday, and anniversary “headgiver” (lol hope I didn’t throw some of ya’ll off the story). Don’t fake the funk, if you don’t do it, don’t feel obligated. I’d like it a lot more if it came from a place with far less reason than an annual event occurring. I want to feel special every day… not just on special days. Don’t you?

I want her to be comfortable with me and I want to make her comfortable when she’s not. I want to listen to her because I just like hearing what she has to say and because I like being the one she wants to share her hopes with, her fears with, her joys, her triumphs. I want her to like me for the same reasons. I want somebody that I dream about, even as I lay right next to her, and someone I day dream about even as I awaken beside her. I want a woman who can enjoy playing childish games and laugh and joke when we make love, but who is mature enough to be able work through problems without reacting childishly when faced with those problems.

I want to be loved with a blind passion and want to be allowed to love with all of my heart all the time. I don’t want to play games. I don’t want to hurt or be hurt, because Men, despite the contrary beliefs, ARE VERY EMOTIONAL. How else would I justify sitting up at 5:20 a.m. talking about the type of love I want.

At times I feel void, I feel myself searching, I feel my heart wanting something “GOOD”. Something that makes me smile, someone I can make smile. We want the Movie to end like it does in “Hitch”, “Jerry McGuire” and any other film where the guy realizes that without this woman he will never be who he wants to be completely. I honestly want to make that speech. I want to meet the woman that has me at hello. I want The woman that I love so much that I stand in front of the car to try to stop her from walking out of my life. (No Stalker- Tip though Lol)

Right now on my radio station is a song playing called “Soulmate” by Natasha Beddingfield. Yah I think I could live with finding her or with her finding me, or with discovering I’ve already found her.

Which brings me back to a woman with complex simplicity. You are “complex” because you are unique. You are the only you that exists on this earth. No one else has your quirks, idiosyncrasies, or dreams. No one else has mine. What makes it “simple” is that we both share these characteristics and so long as we recognize it, understanding and learning from each other reveals that the desires that at times may seem so different when it comes to the sexes is really the same thing: Reciprocity born from love, rather than obligation.

Music Playlist at

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Have You REALLY Experienced The Best Orgasm EVER?!?

*This blog is going to have me remove the link from my email signature, lol. I'm going to get a lil personal to talk about orgasms and something I just found out; sharing information with you readers :)*

I was in a 7 year relationship with my sons Father and NEVER had an orgasm via penetration, only orally or through masturbation. YES, I faked it (52% of women regularly fake orgasms - only 17% are likely to have an orgasm during sexual intercourse, because the clitoris often is not stimulated enough by intercourse alone.) It wasn't until I was 22 and started dating this really amazing guy that I had my first orgasm from the cock, lol. He was VERY special to me and I believe that is why I indulged in such pleasure. Did I mention I'm extremely loud when I climax? Like damn near screaming bloody murder loud, lol. It sounds funny and nothing I can control, well I can but the orgasm sucks money balls if I don't scream. I actually encourage everyone to attempt the motion of yelling out a scream when coming, I PROMISE your orgasm will be 20 times better.

Moving forward, there have maybe been 4 men who have made me come, but again, I'm able to do so orally and by masturbating. So I start seeing this guy earlier this year and OH MY STARS, not only do I scream in the mist of coming but I LAUGH!! YES, I am laughing uncontrollably. He gets a kick out of it - I'm not even sure if he knows I've never experienced it before. It's not something I always do because I don't always come when we boink (*smiles*) but when I do I scream, laugh, I come 5 or 6 times :/. I cannot recall ever having someone make me come more than once if he is lucky to make me get there, lol. (43% of women report “some kind of sexual problem,” such as inability to achieve orgasm, boredom with sex, or total lack of interest in sex)

So today, after going to Mars & beyond recently (yes, the shit was out of this world), I decided to do some research on "laughing while coming". It is NOT uncommon at all - go figure. It is actually said to be a HARD orgasm, its the explosive release of intense emotion. Laughing, smiling, crying, or passing out right after orgasm are different ways the body displays its state of complete relaxation following the built-up tension of climax.

So if you're one of those laughing people, just know you're not alone and you are possibly getting a better sensation of pleasure than the every day person; you're coming harder. :) It is indeed a GIFT!! I'm not sure why others may experience but I know for a FACT why with him I experience it, I would say but its a secret, lol. Check out found out some pretty interesting things.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Man, I'm ALL Over The Place! Boys Suck, lol

Random as thoughts - missing someone I know I probably shouldn't be missing but hey, he has a hold on my heart.....

You're perfect when we're not fucking:
-You're kind
-You're aware
-You're attentive
-You're conversational
-You're entertaining
-You're my FRIEND
-You express an interested in me

You're perfect when we are fucking:
-You hit the right spots
-You're gentle with your touch
-Your kisses are heavenly, like for real
-Your love below pleasures my love

Climbing on top of you with my feet planted flat on the bed, as I straddle you - as soon as you glide inside of me I feel a sense of relief, a sense of comfort, like a welcome home hug as if you were overseas; you fit perfect.

LOL - let me stop, you know you get me hot and bothered! I'm laying on my couch with my right foot thrown over the top and left leg on the floor - legs open. Sure would be nice of you to walk in right now, walk over to me and plant a sensual kiss on my lips. Skip the sissy shit, I want you to fuck me, like really fuck me! Me rubbing your bald, soft head as your going in and out of me hitting the back of my ooowwee. MAN, just the thought!

It KILLS me because I can only get one perfect at a time. Yea, I bitch, fuss and give you hell when we are chilling, its cause I want those same things you do to get me. You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situation. Trying to put the pieces together, justify what could've, would've happened...or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on - TuPac

Stop fooling yourself, B! You give me butterflies, you make my heart race; I've been consistent with my feelings for you. Time to think about what you like about me and see if it overshadows what you dislike. If so, you've got your answer to the question you asked me today.

Man this is all over the place! To the readers - maybe you can answer, why is getting to know someone soooo difficult now? Why must extra shit be involved? We are young and courting one other, so other parties will be involved as far as dating - I don't think asking you to be honest and let me know how tight you are with someone is asking too much. Why does it fall in the "that's my business" category? COMMENTS?

Saturday, June 7, 2008

10 Signs That They're Not Really Into You

I originally titled this blog (He's really not that into you) but changed it because I felt that it was a two way street and that men and women alike do it. Feel free to comment or add to it. I'm not saying these are the only substantial factors but they are pretty good indicators of where you are headed w/who you perceive to be your significant other.

PRESS PLAY... fits well w/ the blog.

10 Signs That They're Not Really Into You

- They can't communicate with you on their own problems. People who can't communicate their own problems to you, will have a great deal of difficulty working through problems ya'll have together. If they really are into you they'll be able to tell you how they feel when they feel it, because you're worth it.

- You can reach them from everybody's phone number but your own

- Conversations of your goals and your life don't interest them, but conversations about your favorite sexual position have their undivided attention

- Everytime they come to see you they KEEP Forgetting that present they got you for your birthday that was a month ago

- they drape you in material things, but disregards the little things (like your little brother's name or your favorite candy) (they are just keeping your mouth full and your belly fed so you'll shut the hell up and stay off their back)

- they just don't like talking on the phone (if you are special, they'll make that exception)

- If they don't call you out on your bullshit and tell you when you are wrong, their not that into you (and if its a guy, hes weak, get away from him)

- If you have never chilled together while the sun's still up (either they're not that into you or the nigga is Dracula, PROTECT YOUR NECK)

- If your climax is not a priority nor turn on to them and if they don't give it 110 percent from the heart everytime ya'll are in the bedroom (or floor, or car, or shower... your choice), what are you wasting your time for you should be giving that opportunity to someone who deserves it (on the reverse if they do all these things the right way and you still dont get yours YOURE probably just not really into them).

(don't let the one you're with be half-assed)

Monday, June 2, 2008

Thought of the Day: Monday 06-02-08 Puzzle "Peace"

Some people are architects, but not even they have a blueprint for love. Do we know ourselves 100 percent? Should we before we commit ourselves to another? Yes to the second, only if you can say yes to the first. Its impossible to give your all to another if you dont know what your all is. If you are still searching for the true you, you will have a great deal of difficulty trying to show your companion how to find you. This is not a reason to lose hope; because, knowing yourself and being a complete person are two totally different things. Its ok to be imperfect b/c though you can aspire to be without flaws we will always fall short. Somewhere, out there, however there is someone that will fill the gaps where you have shortcomings, finish the thoughts when you cant quite find the words, someone whose hand fits perfectly into the grooves of your hand like a piece to a puzzle, our puzzle piece. We cant possibly know who they will be, what they will look like, because they could be anyone from the person you never speak to at school, to some stranger you havent met yet. There is someone out there for all of us to teach us, to learn from us, to complete us. A neat freak for the slob, a comedian for the straight shooter, a freak for the prude, a saint to guide the sinner (hopefully). And so we come full circle to my original point, love is chaotic, if it was ordinary and structured and easy, we wouldn't value it the way we as humans do. We can't map it out, because we don't know our destinations. We can, with eyes wide open, let the wind guide us and chance reveal its mysteries. (At least its pretty to think so.)